I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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