I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
