Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize