What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We need to get me chipped asap
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
