His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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