Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
