do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
