How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
