Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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