Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
