Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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