Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
