It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
