Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i've created a new STD.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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