Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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