I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
