He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Terrible idea I love it
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
