I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
