I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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