Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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