If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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