so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
