we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
