so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
