no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
