I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
