i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
