they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
