lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
