I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
