Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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