i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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