Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
