What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
