And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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