But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
