apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
