This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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