dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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