Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
