I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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