i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize