she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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