I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize