I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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