well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
