so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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