My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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