maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
