sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize