Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
