I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If I die, sorry about rent.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize