I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
