Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
