remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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