I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize