In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
