Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
