And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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