fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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