pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
