Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My cat gives me a boner
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
