she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
