Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
