speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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